Things getting back to normal, before being not normal again

Hubs finally got in at 1:30am, Monday morning and the dogs decided it was time for me to get up as they barked when they heard him. I did manage to get to the dress rental shop yesterday only to find zip in the maternity size and to be honest, not much in regular sizes either.  The selection was mainly a bunch of large sized mom-style dresses, smaller ones that looked like they could have been from the 90's, and the nice ones were mostly rather worn because they were the nice ones that everyone rented. There wasn't really anything for me to try on, so I became the one who dishes out her opinion on the dresses my friends tried on. I did enjoy just spending time with my friends though. My friend Sonia did find quite a nice dress so her total cost for this event will be much less than mine (given my dress gets here!!).  It's Tuesday and still no dress. I'm a bit insistent on getting more info from the company, but they've not been must help as of late. It does say my order is being shipped, so lets hope that it at least gets here by Thursday so I can attempt to avoid the nicely wrinkled too long or short look. I hate ordering dresses online.

Anyway, no news yet on the deployment, but from a conversation I had last night it does seem entirely possible that he may be here for a month and leave again. NOT happy. So, hopefully he gets home today with some less than excruciating news about how they won't send him in March.  Until 5:30 I must wait. One good thing about the day is I now have my two necklaces that I can choose from to go with my currently nonexistent dress and I'll be meeting up with my friends yet again for dinner. I suppose I better get all the me time in a can in the next month if I end up being here without hubby next month! And if I do find out March is the month for his departure, I may have to console myself with a nice long john doughnut.Guess there's not much I can do at this point other than attempt to enjoy the day while waiting for more info...and a tasty dinner. Think I might make a pesto chicken sandwich while I wait (which I made the other day and it was to die for!) and perhaps vegetate on the sofa until the little one wakes. Here's to another day of positive attitude and not knowing anything else. Clarification is on the horizon...good or bad.

Today was a boring day.

Despite the fact that the almighty Super Bowl was on (which I didn't watch any of except a few min of halftime before I decided it sucked) my day was pretty uneventful.

While I had expected to see my hubby today, he did not come home and is not due to until close to 2am. I spent the day trying to figure out what to do with myself as I had cleaned all but the tub in the lower master suite since I figured I had some paw washing I would be doing and would thus make it a muddy mess again. Much to my surprise I didn't have to wash any paws today!!!

I did get a phone call though, and managed to find a little more info about my future...but nothing concrete and not dates of anything. Not sure I'm going to like it when I do get all the info, but for now, I'll wait until Tuesday to find out anything since that's when we should know. 

I do know that tomorrow I have a chance to get some things done and believe me, I plan on getting somethings done...go to the mall to have my makeup tested for Friday or maybe go to a dress rental place to see if I can find a backup dress in case my dress doesn't come in. Maybe I'll just go to the store and buy some birthday presents for my little guy and pick up that chocolate covered, cream filled donuts I've been craving for weeks. There does happen to be a Dunkin Donuts right across from Walmart....if I can't find one at Walmart I can find one there! Maybe I can even buy a bed for my little guy and get him started on the path to the "big boy" bed and eventually potty training!  Oh what a joy it would be to have him potty trained before the next baby gets here!  We'll see. For now I'll just be happy to get him into a regular bed.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day and I like this positive attitude I've had and hope that I can keep it going!  We'll see how it goes when Tuesday gets here.

Oh the suspense!

The anticipation of everything, good or bad is killing me!

I thought my dress for the ball would be here today, it's not. I thought my necklaces I ordered to see what matches the earrings I love and am wearing with the dress would be here, they're not. I ordered some books...they're not here. The ball is Friday and I still have to figure out where to get my makeup done and I haven't. I am getting my hair done in a style I have wanted to try for awhile...but I have almost a week to wait.

I have a week to wait until I find out if I'm having a boy or girl. I have one day until my husband comes home and I can hopefully get more info on whats going on. He still has yet to tell me when he's getting home on Sunday. I have a month or more before I may be alone for 9, but I don't know if that's going to happen.

All and all I just want answers. I'm not stressed about it or upset, just eager to know and get my things!  I did try contacting the store about the dress and I have checked the shipping, so at least I know when my jewelry and a couple books will be here, but the dress and one book is still a mystery.

I am also hoping to get to a place that rents dresses...as a backup...but have to wait until Monday at lest. Oh the suspense of it all.

There's also the upcoming trip to visit family and celebrate my little ones birthday. Which means I have to find some Thomas the train supplies...haven't found a store that has them, so I may be shopping online for this one. I still have to get presents, but I think I have them mostly picked out though. And I have to find a gift for my nephew by the same time since I'll see him back home as well. So much to do, so little time...well, at least when it comes to buying presents because as any parent knows it's hell trying to buy toys when you have your little one with you and they can't have the toy right then and there. Will be doing this tomorrow or next weekend when my hubby can watch our son.

Then there's the not so exciting parts like the possibility of deployment and waiting to see the next time I'll have to wash the dogs paws because they won't stop digging in the freakin yard!  They have a new trench and boy oh boy do I wish I had the charger for the electronic collar because they're too far to throw a ball or get them distracted with something, one doesn't listen for crap, and both of them are stellar performers at covering their paws with caked on mud and then staring me right in the eye pleading to be let back inside while I'm fuming on the other side of the glass knowing full well that they require ANOTHER bath. I don't think I've ever washed these dogs paws so many times in one week or even a day! I can only imagine how thrilled my husband will be when he comes home and sees the masterpiece they've created in the yard. Although, to my defense, he is the one who left the charger back at a hunting place when we went home for Christmas. Anyway, there's so much going on and I just can't believe how much is going to be packed in one month! It seems like it's shaping up to be a good one, but a crazy one.

Is the glass half empty or half full?

When the winds of change come your way, you can embrace it or fight it. While I have many changes in my future, I hope that I can embrace those changes and learn from them. I am fortunate in many ways others are not, and I am unlucky in ways some are not. Either way you look at it we all have challenges to face and it's the way we face them that makes us who we are and makes us strong or weak.

I'm not what I would call a strong person when we comes to emotions such as keeping my cool or expressing my frustrations. I tend to bottle things inside and hold it in until I can't take it any longer. I have come to realize that that is one way of dealing with it and likely one way to eventually cause a major blowout when I should be searching for a way to solve the problem rather than exacerbate it.  I have watched my friends create their lives, be it traveling to far off lands, moving to other states and pursuing their dream, moving to other states and deciding that their dream is getting old and they need something else, or staying local and creating a family, even though it may not have been the timing they preferred. All and all you never know what your life will bring, but I've come to realize that it is what you make of it and you have to be strong and fight for what you want.

I am a military wife, I move when they say move, I find a job where they say I'm going to live, and I have children whether or not my husband can be there. It's not easy and often not fun, but I have realized that you have to attempt to embrace this life if you are going to make it. I will not always have this life and I do not always enjoy this life, but for now I can express my concerns to my husband, but my concerns will only be able to be resolved by him if they are on a more personal level because there's little he can do when the Army says jump, you jump.

I have a lot to discuss with my husband when he comes home and there will be a lot of decisions to be made when the Army decides to tell us what's going to happen in the next 6 months.  Things may get ugly, but at this point we are where we are and as a wife there's not much I can do short of complain to my husband, friends, and family. 

Throughout my life I've had a "glass is half empty" kind of attitude and I try to help myself by expecting the worst that way I can be surprised when I don't get the worst. However, I feel that sometimes this approach backfires, but it has helped me get through a few tough situations with deployments and such.

I think the best thing to do is to plan to the best of your ability, keep a positive attitude, and do everything in your power to get the things you want in life or time will pass you by and you'll be left wondering where it went. I have somethings I want, there are things I want to do, goals I have in mind, and soon I will set things in motion to get my life going on a track that will get me to a place where I want to be. Here's to keeping a positive attitude about everything and keeping an open mind...one thing that is very useful as a military spouse.

A vistor for tomorrow and hopefully some sleep soon!

Tomorrow I get to watch my sons friend and babysitters son. Should be interesting as I've not had the two boys here together all day by myself and I have no clue how her son will do when she leaves. Here's hoping the allure of the train table will help keep him happy!

This weekend I will finally get my other half back and I will finally feel like I can have a bit of freedom. I'm thinking I will go out and buy some birthday presents for my little guy and perhaps I'll take the time to shop for myself as well.

Nothing eventful happened today other than I went to Walmart and bought some groceries. I managed to make another batch of tasty calzones, but ended up with poached and seasoned chicken, peas and baked beans. I bought a can of baked beans a few weeks ago because it just sounded good and I never eat them...and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed them. Hunter seemed to like them, but did end up attempting to feed the last little bit to the dogs when I was cleaning up. Typical boy. He thinks it's great fun and he knows it will get a rouse out of me if I catch him. Ornery little guy. Well, after dinner we had our usual nighttime routine and the I watched one of my shows I like and hopped on here.  Now that I've made a post, I think I better go wash up some dishes, clean a little to make sure the house is ready for my boys friend and go to bed at a decent hour instead of 1am like I did last night...or this morning depending on how you look at it. Until tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Aching hips, my poor trashcan, and stripping Vegas!

Not much has happened in the last 24 hours. I managed to live through the tornado watch and howling winds that knocked my poor defenseless trash can over. Luckily all the trash was too scared to attempt an escape and stayed safely secured inside the trash can for the trashman this morning. Had I awoken before he arrived I would have checked on my poor trashcan and uprighted it so it still had it's dignity, but alas I was tucked in my warm bed enjoying the sleep. 

I did however, get one fond reminder of what pregnant life was like before...while enjoying my slumber I was awoken a few times as I usually do to turn over, but this time my typical uneventful turns were joined by that oh so nice aching pain deep in my bones of my hip.  The rain and wind didn't help sing me back to sleep, but I knew when I felt the aching that this was only the beginning. I knew after reading pregnancy books the first time that I would likely have some joint pain, but during my first pregnancy I think that was the worst part of the whole ordeal.

One doesn't normally sleep with 5 pillows all stuffed against and under your body so that you're entrenched in a sea of pillows, but when you have that joyful experience of pregnancy you learn to love your pillows and welcome them happily into your bed, much to your typical pillows envy. I have to say I was not expecting to have this pain so soon, but I know it will soon go from an ache to a wake you up and wish you could take meds for your aches every night kinda pain.  Guess the good thing is that I only have 5 months (aw man...5 months!) left and then it will fade away.

Well, all that aside, I still manage to do all that I did before my pregnancy with the exception of running due to my toddlers absolute refusal to sit in the stroller for an extended period of time...not to mention it's winter and he would likely hate being strapped in the stroller when it's 30 or 40 degrees out. Sunday marks the day my hubby comes home so I may try to take some time that day to try running with my big ol belly...which may no longer fit into most running gear, but we'll see. At least I can go for a walk if need be.  I am starting to have problems lifting somethings as my stomach muscles prepare to get stretched beyond recognition.  Sorry stomach, you just have to suck it up and deal cause we're in this for the long haul. 

I did however find a run that I do believe I will attempt in the future. While looking through some old magazines and ripping out articles I wanted to keep, but will probably totally forget about, I saw an add for a Strip Vegas or some other catchy title with the word STRIP in huge bold print. Basically it's a race in Vegas on the strip in December I believe and I thought, perhaps in a couple years when I'm not feeding my bundle of joy from my body every 2 hours, I might make the trip out there and just do this race. So I ripped out the add and stuck it in a binder as a reminder to myself to look this up. The big question then becomes who do I run with? I love to run and train for half marathons, but I do enjoy having a buddy to run with at least part of it. So we'll see who I can get to send me off and meet me at the finish line if I can't find a running buddy willing to travel. Now, for the past year I've been dreaming of the Disney World half marathon (one of a few of them they have) and I hope that I can one day do that, but I think I'll need to at least make a trip to Disney for a week and actually have the kids with me, which means that will be awhile.  Anyway, for now I'll dream of my running as I stare down at my growing belly and my disappearing feet. Ok, not there yet, but I will be!

True friends make you rich

Oddly enough, photos of a trip in 2004 showed up on facebook today, despite the friend having posted them about 8 years ago! I got a kick out of seeing some of them and sadly I'm not tagged in them currently because my name changed. While looking at those photos I'm reminded of what life was like back then. It's always been fascinating to think about where you'll be or what you'll be doing in 10 years and to be honest, I suppose I thought my life would be something like this, but never really thought I would have lived somewhere exotic, moved several times in one year, and bought a house that I will only live in for three. I did however figure if I was going to have kids I'd have them by now or at least have one by now and I knew having dogs was a must. I didn't expect to have three, nor did I expect them to be crazy, but I love them and they have their sweet calm moments every once in a while. 

While on my glorious 4 week stint in Australia I met a lot of great people and still maintain friendships with them via the great social network of facebook, but there's really only been one person that I have kept in touch with that has become a dear friend and means a great deal to me. Oddly enough, it was my one week in Fiji that made out meeting possible. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd end up chatting with a bloke from England while on some far away tropical excursion and I certainly never thought I'd end up chatting with him via email and skype more than I talk to my parents or my husband when he's deployed or in training! While our encounter was brief, only a few days, there was something that was certainly there between us and kept us talking to each other for years. After going back to the states and reuniting with my future husband, then boyfriend, I never thought I'd one day consider what life would have been like with my English gentleman.  I married my high school sweetheart and we joined the military (I say we because he joined it and I married into it, although not willingly). I suppose I thought we'd exchange a few emails and eventually would drift off into our own worlds across the pond from each other.  I hoped we didn't, but I'm terrible about maintaining contact with friends unless it's messages on facebook, I really don't call people or email them much. So to my surprise, we've become close friends and on some level we'd probably wish we were more than that, but that is another story entirely and I'm not getting into that. Honestly, he is a wonderful man and as you sit here reading this and enjoying your ridiculously hot days back in Australia I have no problems telling you just how great you are and what a blessing it has been to know you. Despite the attraction between us, which I felt from the first few days we knew each other, be it singing Christina songs by the fire, or just chatting about life under the stars, we were never married and nothing has ever happened between us. He is a true gentleman as he had many opportunities to make a move had he wanted to, but never did.  I only go off about all this, because as a married woman you'd think I'd be rambling off about my husband and my family, however here I sit, having only spoken to my husband twice in the past month and spoken to this Englishman nearly everyday. Not to mention I'm reading his book and laughing as some of his most embarrassing moments. I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that you can never value a true friend enough, they can be a lifeline, a rock, someone to make you laugh when all you want to do is cry, someone to dream with, someone to dream about, and someone to help you when you're down despite how hard it might be for them when it's helping out with your marital problems when I'm sure they'd rather you dump the guy.

Those photos I mentioned in the beginning included one from my trip in Fiji and he was in it. And even though I look dreadful, it's a photo I'll always enjoy looking at because I know what being there was like.  I've had many friends come and go and I was worried this man might have had too much to take when I told him I was engaged, then having a baby, then having another one, but he's stuck by my side and I thank him for that.

I know what it's like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on by your best friend because my best friend of 13 years did that to me in high school and it was heartbreaking to see her leave you behind to go off with her friends and become so involved in drugs that when you finally saw her after graduation she was a shell of the bubbly personality she was. I guess coke will do that to you. However, I have seen her again and once again facebook has allowed me to reconnect with her, but it was never the same and to this day I have only met with her twice since we reunited a couple years ago. I have moved away from my home, my family, my friends, to make a new life for myself, but in the end I always wish that I could go back to that inviting place called home where I have friends just a short drive away, my family is there if I want to see them, and I know where all the streets go because I grew up there and learned to drive there. Being a military spouse takes it's toll on you and there are good days and bad days, sometimes good weeks or months and bad ones as well. But the one thing I know I can always count on is my closest friends, to include my family. If you would have asked me twenty years ago who my best friends would be I would have had a completely different list and would have only dreamed of going to Australia, but today my list includes that man I met in Fiji, my mom, and a fellow military wife to name a few. I have learned that the one thing the truly matters in this world is the people you surround yourself with and not your worldly possessions, or the money in your bank account (granted those things make life a lot easier), if you can love yourself and surround yourself with people that love you, then you are rich no matter how much money is in the bank.