A new day a new disappointment

Last night I get the news I was waiting to dreading hearing. As he started telling me how his day went by talking about how all the guys in the battalion (he talked to a lot of people apparently) agreed 100% with him and not the guy who's totally screwing him for not taking the position he was offered (which isn't unheard of) and is now being a vindictive ass and essentially tossing him out of the battalion, I knew it wasn't going to be good. He knew what I wanted to know and I figured since he was taking his sweet time to get to what I wanted and needed to know, it wasn't going to be good. And it wasn't.

Those 12 month deployments have not gone by the wayside as I found out that his new job will involve what would be a 12 month deployment, but he's leaving a little later since he just got there so he will be gone for 10-11 months. I also learned that not only is he deploying, he's deploying in March....yes, March. So after a month of him being gone at training where he was observing others who are getting ready to go overseas, he is now back for a short while only to deploy and be gone again. All the while leaving his young child and pregnant wife behind. Now, I know he didn't want to have this happen. No one asks for a long deployment unless they're desperate for more money and want to get away from their spouse.

However, I now find myself in a bit of a pickle...ok, more like a massive pile of shit. I am stuck with the decision of where to have the baby, back home with family, or here where we're stationed and I have two friends, one of which will be leaving in a month for training in the air force and the other in an intense nursing program. So, my interaction with other adults will be limited to say the least. However, staying here gives me my space, enough bedrooms, a doctor and hospital I know, and I don't have to worry about what to do with the animals. Going home presents the problem with the dogs and living space.  With a toddler and a newborn things will be rather cramped and I'll only go home for a few months at most.   I guess it's time to start a list of pros and cons. Either way I feel like I'm up shit creek without a paddle.

Being in the military and being a spouse of a soldier comes with many issues and this is one you hope you never have to face. The only ray of light is that 12 month deployments include a two week r&r whereas 9 months do not. So, there is a possibility that he may be here when the baby is born, but there's no guarantee that I'm going to have the baby in that two week window considering our first born was a week and a half early and who knows what will happen this time. So my positive cloud floating attitude has fallen flat and is now down pouring with unhappy emotions, but this is the way it is and I guess I just have to deal. So, in order to deal, I will be going to a store to buy some things for my sons new bedroom and then to the grocery store to buy the doughnut I've been craving for weeks.

On another note...my dress is STILL not here. Grrr. But at least I know (after much hounding of the company) that it will arrive tomorrow.