Day two. I've cleaned what feels like a zillion dishes, done a couple loads of laundry, sewed the day old bed my dog ripped up, and ran around after my little one all day. Now I'm ready to relax and read Fifty Shades Darker.
As I read the book, the one mentioned above is number two of the trilogy, I can't help but think the author is a cruel women because there's no way you can have orgasms that easily and sadly it's getting old reading about her getting off so quickly every time they touch, which is nearly every other page. But hey, that's what the book is about really, sex, so I guess when you want your kicks late at night in bed you can read it and put yourself in her place. Now, I'm not going to lie...if they made movies out of this and Channing Tatum played Mr Grey, I'd go watch. But after seeing Magic Mike, maybe I'll just stick with watching a few of his scenes, man that guy can dance. I digress.
So, today was a rather boring day. I did get to spend a lot of time yelling at my two largest, youngest, and very headstrong dogs as I couldn't put them outside due to the constant rain that made my backyard a soggy mess. One of them unfortunately is a poo eater...possibly the most vile thing. I brushed her teeth and gave her a bath today after screaming at her "NO" from the back door as she finished the latest steaming pile from our other dog. Unfortunately, the electric dog collar charger got left in a hunting trailer my husband and some friends went to so we have to wait to get that back or else I would put that darn thing on her and train her to crap in the toilet...or at least listen to "NO!" She is the most bullheaded dog I know and one that constantly tests my patience, however she is a sweet lap dog when she wants to be and she's oh-so-soft. Good for petting when she's not got poo breath.
Dogs aside, I managed to entertain myself and my son all day with the usual books, trains, etc. But after he goes to bed I wish I could have had a nice cold drink...an alcoholic one! A glass of Moscatto would have been great or perhaps a nice crisp hard cider. But, alas I am destined to be drink free until at least the end of June if not a lot longer. I do however have a bottle of my favorite wine (which is from a winery I can't get where I currently live) in the basement. I have to say, not drinking does save me on the caloric consumption that probably would help me gain that unwanted butt fat, or leg, or stomach, pick what you want. Granted I was down to a decent weight and physical condition before the exhaustion and nausea hit me. I'm only a few pounds heavier now, but my ever expanding belly makes me sad since I feel like I don't look pregnant yet, just fat. About the only good thing that comes from this thus far is the bigger boobs. I'll keep those thank you very much. :)
Aside from the dogs getting me up and my husband texting me at 11:30 last night I got a good nights sleep. And if I want to get another one I should get off here, get my butt in the shower, and go to bed. I'll probably end up typing for a while, getting that shower, reading my book, and getting to bed much later than expected, but that's how most nights go.
I can't help but wonder how single moms do it. Perhaps many of them live close to family so they can have them watch their children, or perhaps because they work, they get a break from the children to focus on other matters, but I have to say kudos to you single moms! I feel single some of the time, thank you military, but I'm in no way single despite the fact that I pretty much do everything in raising my son. I just realized that I have a full 3 1/2 weeks before I see my husband again, which is a week longer than I thought. I was looking forward to being able to go shopping here in a few weeks, be it groceries or for something I don't really need, and not have to worry about a tantrum happening in the store. One of these days it's going to be a full blown tantrum and I'm dreading that day. For the most part he gets upset and then erupts when you are about to check out or put him in the car. At least that way I know I am close to getting out of the store or already out of it. Guess this is just being a mom. While there are many trying moments...like playing in the dog's water bowl over and over and OVER again, to attempting to feed the dogs his lunch, or even attempting to eat a crayon, I can't help but love the moment before bed when I get to hold him and read to him. I love having him in my lap listening intently, smiling and yawing, cuddling up to me. It's the best part of my day. I miss the days when I used to have a baby fall asleep on my chest and just lay with him nuzzled against me. Perhaps those days will again be in my near future, should my little angel decide it's ok for the new baby to take moms time from him. I think my biggest challenge is yet to come.
As I started this post I thought about complaining about the possibility of my husband going to a strip club last night and how it would make me so angry given my current state of feeling fat and unattractive only to have him oogle at some other woman, but then I decided that I would simply ramble on about the better things. I'm sure I could have written a lot more last night or perhaps this morning when I was still thinking about how upset I would be if he did go. All I know is that he gambled and won a little money and when and if I find out he went to a strip club, I'm sure you'll know. I don't have any cause to think there's any underlying intentions of visiting a strip club, but I'm not there, I'm pregnant and feel unattractive, and (not going to lie) I'm totally jealous that he gets to go and I don't. It's as if men become parents and their life doesn't change nearly as much as a woman's does. Perhaps that is an additional part of the frustration. Men don't have to nurse their babies or are not the primary caregiver when there's a stay-at-home-mom. So naturally the child is inclined to want it's mother. I think that women end up changing their lives drastically, which is only natural, but men can still go fishing, hunting, to Vegas, overnight trips...and the mother is always at home. Sure I go out...for a day trip or a couple hours, but when was the last time I wasn't sleeping in the same house as my son....only once in his two years and that was because I was at a breaking point when I was visiting family and he stayed with his dad and grandparents that night. It's hard to let go of the life you had when you become a parent. There are so many times when I'd like to do the most simple things and not have to worry about making sure I have everything (god forbid I forget the diaper bag) or hoping that I don't get stressed out because my son is upset he has to sit in the front of the cart rather than run around the store, but when it all boils down I always come to the same conclusion. I miss my old life, my seemly carefree life, but I wouldn't change it for the world. There's not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for the blessing my son is. I can't get enough of that smile and I can't imagine life without him. I took the traditional route...go to school, get degree, get married, have a baby, and another one (soon) and this is my life. It may be hard at times, but it's a good life. Now I just have to get over the emotional issues of being lonely at times and feeling fat! All in good time I suppose.
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