Ice cream and a smutty book

What do you say to your husband when he just declined to take a job that might have kept him here for the birth of your second child, but it's everything he doesn't want in a job and he's wanting to get out of the unit he's in because of the leadership?  Well, you tell him that family is important, you're tired of being low on the totem pole and you want to have him home despite the fact that it's a done deal and you can't really change what he's said now so you have to wait and see what command they give him.  Then after a long conversation you get on here, post your thoughts and carry on with some ice cream and a smutty book to take your mind off things.

One good thing about the conversation that is far from over is that he knows how you feel, knows your need more, knows you expect more, and knows that he better give you want you want before he gets deployed or it's going to be one unpleasant year. I did manage to get the little trip home to see the family that I wanted, the extra ultrasound, and a sincere I'm sorry and I love you. Oh and I am now officially allowed to declare what we do next after we leave this duty station because I'm sick of being at his and the Army's mercy.

While I am happy I have gotten a few minor things that I wanted, I'm still brokenhearted that I will most likely be without him for the birth of our second child. I will likely be in another state with a new doctor (which I'm not happy about because I really like my midwife at this hospital) and if I can swing it I will only have one dog to worry about instead of three.  Anyone want to adopt two dogs for three or four months while I manage to keep my sanity for just a bit longer?

There are a lot of things to consider...for all I know the stars could align and he might not even get deployed, but it looks like all the possible units he could go to will be leaving in March or sometime around then....sooner than I thought. We're not sure if he'd go that soon as there's so much to do before deployment but it's possible and I'm not happy about it. It would get him home for Christmas which would be wonderful. So, here I am, still wondering, but now wondering when instead of if he'll get deployed. At times I wish I could just say, he needs to quit, but it's not like you can really do that and despite his master's degree he's not sure what he'll do in the private sector. Just this morning I was looking up bedding for my toddler hopping to redo his room and now he may not even use it but a few weeks before he ends up getting moved back to the grandparents...if they'll have me, my son, my dog, my lizard, and my amphibian...AND I can find some one to take our other two dogs for a little while. To be honest it's all too much and it sucks and I told him that. It just plain sucks. I hope that I can find the strength in myself to make it through what will undoubtedly be the hardest time in our marriage and my life. If I go home at least I will have the support of my friends and family and that means the world to me. Life is hard and sometimes it knocks you down, lets just hope I can be the strength that my children will need in the upcoming months and still find strength for myself.